Ellie's Feelings Deli

I've been struggling for the past... Heck, it's been almost two months. For the past six weeks I've had a crushing weight on my mind that hasn't seemed to go away until today. This afternoon, actually. Life has been a whirlwind of busy work for the past two weeks, what with finals for the past forever, and so I've had little time to regard things that aren't homework, exams, papers, and notes. But... Tonight I feel... Calm. Calmish, I should say. I don't have the blessing of total relaxation because I'm an insecure teenage girl and I hate waiting for a return text. Because that totally matters tonight, haha. Christmas has always been super exciting, right? You want to sleep next to the tree and catch Santa putting all the presents there, and you wake up before the sun to see what the fat man with the beard brought you. This year is different, though. This year I'm grown up. *gulp* At first I thought it was just me, but talking with friend...

Hellooooo! It's late, my contacts are killing my eyes, I'm way tired, and having three really awesome conversations with three really awesome people (Elysse, Taylor, Cheyenne). I was sitting on the couch and reblogging some Avengers stuff on Tumblr when I looked next to me on the couch and it was empty and the basement was dimly lit and it was cold and I was like, Man, this is usually how it is. I usually end up at home by myself and obsessively latch to the internet to feed my growing need to be communicating with people 24/7. So tonight was one of those nights, right, I'm juss chillin' like a villain in my (wo)man cave and I was like, Man, I'm lonely right now. And I look to my right and the plaid cotton stretches away from me for miles and miles, and it's cold and untouched, and I'm like I really need to stop thinking deeply about couches So then this line shows up in my head: "I long for you to come inside the loneliness where I reside....