Ellie's Feelings Deli

Being in Rexburg for the last year has been the one of the harder experiences of my life. Adjusting to Rexburg from Provo was hard. My depression and anxiety spiked drastically when I got married, and I felt completely alone and isolated in a town where I had little to no support. When I tried to reach out and explain my frustrations and my heartache, I was told: "Well, at least you're married" and "You can't complain because you have a husband. I'm single and life is so much harder when you're single." (what) "BYU-I is better and if you don't like it you should just move." (what?) "I'm offended that you don't like it here. I love it, so why shouldn't you?" (what???) And my favorite, "Maybe you don't like it here because you're having ~spiritual issues." (WTF??????) These were people I barely knew, people I hadn't talked to in months, people I did not regularly talk to, people who knew n...

Well, hey there, folks. Literally every time I start a new blog post I'm like, what did I talk about last time? And I can't remember because my last blog post was at least a thousand years ago. #bloggergametooweak But I've been busy working and yoloing and stuff, plus like who even cares about Ellie's blog, amirite? Can't handle all these haters :'( On the real, though, I super appreciate all the love and the fact that people actually put forth effort and suffer through every post that I author. It's an incredible show of sacrifice, selflessness, and strength. ~*inspirational*~ Speaking of inspirational, though, really, you (my readers) are so swag and too awesome. The Lord has seriously blessed me with some really cool people (including family, good friends, and awesome acquaintances) who give me strength and make me feel so good when I don't deserve it at all. Like I've said before, I am seriously a loser. A massive thank-you and bless y...

I literally have no introduction to this post so it's probably gonna jump around a lot and be sad but you know, the Ellie Bolander way is the way of the yolo so... #yolo Today (now yesterday) was May the 4th (May the 4th be with you) and it was a blast, we dressed up and got together and watched A New Hope (arguably the best of the original trilogy) and actually spent most of the night talking about boys but what else do you expect? Nerd girls have the most active hormones, I'm pretty sure. I know for a fact they have the most pent-up sexual frustration from all their love for fictional men, but hey, at least we have fun. I've also met the coolest (and cutest) dudes because of my obnoxious  encyclopedic knowledge of all things Marvel, Doctor Who, and Hobbit. (Not LotR, unfortunately, I'm still not quite hardcore enough to delve all the way into that trilogy. Tolkein is still a little too over my head.) I just reread what I just typed and I'm not even sure. SO ANY...

LIKE FURREALS WHY HAVE I NOT EVER BLOGGED ABOUT THIS BEFORE OH RIGHT BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN SUPER DUPER RELEVANT UNTIL RIGHT NOW Okay so let me describe to you the exotic far away place called Brigham Young University. Everyone's white. Everyone's Mormon. Everyone wants the NCMO. #shewantsthencmo #butreallytho This is so appropriate for a blog post about missions..... #whatiswrongwithme My goodness. Anyways, so missions. After the groundbreaking age change announcement made in 2012 by the prophet Thomas S. Monson, missionary work has literally EXPLODED. LDS mission applications jumped 471% in the months following the announcement. Elders and sisters alike were serving in such great numbers that new Missionary Training Centers had to be built to accommodate. BYU student housing was turned into missionary housing in Provo, Utah to accommodate those missionaries training there. There are now over 80,000 missionaries serving in more than 400 missions all over the wor...

DAAANG SON it's been a really long time, WOW I am bad at this whole blog thing. I have prayed more in the last three months than I have in a really long time. Like furreals, the Spirit is working on me nonstop and it's just crazy. I can feel Heavenly Father's love all around me, in the people I associate with, in the sunshine, in the wind, in my classes... Everywhere, God's love is there. You don't even have to look hard, you just have to feel it and it's there. He loves you and He knows you and He wants you to feel His love. Something really cool that I've learned in college is that no matter what you're doing, no matter what your goals are or what your desires are, if you are centered on Christ and his Gospel, you will be okay. If you never lose sight of that center, if you keep your eye single to the glory of God, and if you allow God to be a part of your life and guide you, you will accomplish everything you want and MORE! And on the other side a...

So college. SWAGGY. This week has been the most amazing and fan-freaking-tastic week of my life thus far. In case you didn't know I'm attending Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. I'm living in New Heritage with the most amazing group of girls I've ever even... I don't even know, I just have a lot of emotions for them. [insert cheesy smile here] So right, if you follow this blog you'll notice I haven't posted in a thousand years. I've been dealing with things and haven't been emotionally... ready?... to write again. But now I'm ready to write again. :) Right, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. Uhh college. Sooo... Yeah. Anyways. It is currently 4:15 AM and I am hanging out with one of my roommates deep talking the Gospel and life and stuff and it's just pretty amazing, like wow. Anyways, college! Living on my own is SICK BEANS. I LOVE it, so so much. Eating Spaghetti-Os and grape juice every day is just heave...