Universidad Esta Muy Bien
So college.
SWAGGY.
This week has been the most amazing and fan-freaking-tastic week of my life thus far.
In case you didn't know I'm attending Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. I'm living in New Heritage with the most amazing group of girls I've ever even... I don't even know, I just have a lot of emotions for them.
[insert cheesy smile here]
So right, if you follow this blog you'll notice I haven't posted in a thousand years. I've been dealing with things and haven't been emotionally... ready?... to write again. But now I'm ready to write again. :)
Right, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. Uhh college. Sooo... Yeah. Anyways. It is currently 4:15 AM and I am hanging out with one of my roommates deep talking the Gospel and life and stuff and it's just pretty amazing, like wow.
Anyways, college! Living on my own is SICK BEANS. I LOVE it, so so much. Eating Spaghetti-Os and grape juice every day is just heavenly. I get to do my laundry, never! I go to all the sports games and stay up until all hours of the night and make cookies in a mug every night and it'S JUST SO GREAT
But yeah, it's been amazing. It's only been one week of actual school but wow, talk about the best week ever. For many, many reasons.
I know why you're all really here, though. The Men.
The Men of BYU are some of the most beautiful, humble, spiritual, inspiring, incredible sons of God I have ever had the pleasure of associating with.
Classes are great. I have Book of Mormon, Honors American Society and Government, Career Exploration, and Organ. I got to practice the organ for a good hour and a half today so that rocked. Organ is so. Flippin'. Cool. The best ever. I love love love it.
The dating has been good. Very good. Exceptional, I would say. *wink* That's all I have to say on that subject.
Right now I'm just trying to get a hang of living alone but with other people at the same time, sharing silverware and dishes but not food, sometimes cleaning, and keeping the dorm presentable enough for the many guests who visit day and night. It's always a party in #1104, yo. #thuglife
I'm also juggling my decision to go on a mission. Last week, before I even got in the swing of things, while freshman orientation (read: mini EFY) was going on, I had a distinct impression that maybe I shouldn't go on a mission. In that moment I panicked and thought I was going insane because I've always just assumed I was going to go. Because why wouldn't I, right?
I am willing and able and prepared to serve a traditional mission, so there's no reason not to go.
Except there are reasons not to go. And I've been so deeply pondering those things. What does it mean? What would I gain from going, or from not going? There are so many different directions my life could go based on this one decision.
And finally, after reading a line in my Patriarchal Blessing, I realized: It is essentially my decision.
After all this praying, all this struggling and impatience waiting for a straight answer from God, I forgot the most fundamental thing: Agency. We were blessed first and foremost with free agency, allowing us to choose right from wrong before this world began. God gave that to us so that in this mortal realm we could make decisions that would lead us back to, or away from, Him.
So I don't need to sit around waiting for an answer because the answer is in my head. I just have to choose, will it be A or B? I've been promised many blessings whether I choose to serve or not. I have full faith that if I choose not to go the Lord will have other, just as fulfilling missions for me to learn and grow in the years to come.
It's just so hard for sisters these days. Some girls I know are preparing to serve purely because they can. Which is awesome! The world needs more amazing, virtuous, passionate sister missionaries out teaching and preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some girls go because it's what God has planned for them, which is so amazing. And some girls go because of pressure. For me, most of the girls in my home ward are heading out on their missions so of course it's tempting to follow in their footsteps. But is it the right thing to do? Which path do I take?
I have lots of time to officially decide what to do, but it's something to think about. Pondering and prayer and scripture study helps me a little bit more every day to be more in tune with my spiritual side so as to figure out what I want to do.
The Lord gives us revelation, which is the best and probably the strongest guiding force in my life that has kept me strong and virtuous and faithful, BUT we must always always always remember that He also gave us agency. The Lord does not dictate every single little thing we do, and for a reason. Remember the Children of Israel and how many weird rules and regulations they had? They were not yet prepared to simply keep the commandments. They needed more structure to help keep them from the traditions of their fathers and instead follow the Lord.
Because we understand the basics, the Lord gave us basic commandments and some regulations to follow, but we don't have the Prophet himself in our wards every Sunday critiquing everything we do. We have bishops and stake presidents and youth leaders and quorums, a specific hierarchy of sorts to help keep the Lord's people righteous and faithful.
So when making a decision, pray about it, of course. But also keep in mind that the Lord wants you to make decisions for yourself. And if it is right then you will find peace. If it isn't, you'll know and the Lord will help you get on the path you need to walk. But until then it's always safe to make your own decisions without thinking you have to wait on the Lord's permission. He's a busy dude. He will guide you, but never force you into a decision, because He loves you.
I love you. The support (emotional, financial, moral, etc.) I've been given over the last couple years has been overwhelming. Thank you for your examples! I would not be here at the Lord's school if it wasn't for your belief in me.
God be with you 'til we meet again!
Ellie
P.S. It is now 5:56 AM. I am going now to do laundry for an hour or two and then sleep until noon, maybe do some homework, maybe go on a date, maybe sleep some more. My roommate and I ended up talking literally all night, which was unplanned but so, so worth it. It should be a fabulous day. [muffled "There Is Sunshine In My Soul" plays in the distance]
SWAGGY.
This week has been the most amazing and fan-freaking-tastic week of my life thus far.
In case you didn't know I'm attending Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. I'm living in New Heritage with the most amazing group of girls I've ever even... I don't even know, I just have a lot of emotions for them.
[insert cheesy smile here]
So right, if you follow this blog you'll notice I haven't posted in a thousand years. I've been dealing with things and haven't been emotionally... ready?... to write again. But now I'm ready to write again. :)
Right, so I'm not really sure where to go from here. Uhh college. Sooo... Yeah. Anyways. It is currently 4:15 AM and I am hanging out with one of my roommates deep talking the Gospel and life and stuff and it's just pretty amazing, like wow.
Anyways, college! Living on my own is SICK BEANS. I LOVE it, so so much. Eating Spaghetti-Os and grape juice every day is just heavenly. I get to do my laundry, never! I go to all the sports games and stay up until all hours of the night and make cookies in a mug every night and it'S JUST SO GREAT
But yeah, it's been amazing. It's only been one week of actual school but wow, talk about the best week ever. For many, many reasons.
I know why you're all really here, though. The Men.
The Men of BYU are some of the most beautiful, humble, spiritual, inspiring, incredible sons of God I have ever had the pleasure of associating with.
Classes are great. I have Book of Mormon, Honors American Society and Government, Career Exploration, and Organ. I got to practice the organ for a good hour and a half today so that rocked. Organ is so. Flippin'. Cool. The best ever. I love love love it.
The dating has been good. Very good. Exceptional, I would say. *wink* That's all I have to say on that subject.
Right now I'm just trying to get a hang of living alone but with other people at the same time, sharing silverware and dishes but not food, sometimes cleaning, and keeping the dorm presentable enough for the many guests who visit day and night. It's always a party in #1104, yo. #thuglife
I'm also juggling my decision to go on a mission. Last week, before I even got in the swing of things, while freshman orientation (read: mini EFY) was going on, I had a distinct impression that maybe I shouldn't go on a mission. In that moment I panicked and thought I was going insane because I've always just assumed I was going to go. Because why wouldn't I, right?
I am willing and able and prepared to serve a traditional mission, so there's no reason not to go.
Except there are reasons not to go. And I've been so deeply pondering those things. What does it mean? What would I gain from going, or from not going? There are so many different directions my life could go based on this one decision.
And finally, after reading a line in my Patriarchal Blessing, I realized: It is essentially my decision.
After all this praying, all this struggling and impatience waiting for a straight answer from God, I forgot the most fundamental thing: Agency. We were blessed first and foremost with free agency, allowing us to choose right from wrong before this world began. God gave that to us so that in this mortal realm we could make decisions that would lead us back to, or away from, Him.
So I don't need to sit around waiting for an answer because the answer is in my head. I just have to choose, will it be A or B? I've been promised many blessings whether I choose to serve or not. I have full faith that if I choose not to go the Lord will have other, just as fulfilling missions for me to learn and grow in the years to come.
It's just so hard for sisters these days. Some girls I know are preparing to serve purely because they can. Which is awesome! The world needs more amazing, virtuous, passionate sister missionaries out teaching and preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some girls go because it's what God has planned for them, which is so amazing. And some girls go because of pressure. For me, most of the girls in my home ward are heading out on their missions so of course it's tempting to follow in their footsteps. But is it the right thing to do? Which path do I take?
I have lots of time to officially decide what to do, but it's something to think about. Pondering and prayer and scripture study helps me a little bit more every day to be more in tune with my spiritual side so as to figure out what I want to do.
The Lord gives us revelation, which is the best and probably the strongest guiding force in my life that has kept me strong and virtuous and faithful, BUT we must always always always remember that He also gave us agency. The Lord does not dictate every single little thing we do, and for a reason. Remember the Children of Israel and how many weird rules and regulations they had? They were not yet prepared to simply keep the commandments. They needed more structure to help keep them from the traditions of their fathers and instead follow the Lord.
Because we understand the basics, the Lord gave us basic commandments and some regulations to follow, but we don't have the Prophet himself in our wards every Sunday critiquing everything we do. We have bishops and stake presidents and youth leaders and quorums, a specific hierarchy of sorts to help keep the Lord's people righteous and faithful.
So when making a decision, pray about it, of course. But also keep in mind that the Lord wants you to make decisions for yourself. And if it is right then you will find peace. If it isn't, you'll know and the Lord will help you get on the path you need to walk. But until then it's always safe to make your own decisions without thinking you have to wait on the Lord's permission. He's a busy dude. He will guide you, but never force you into a decision, because He loves you.
I love you. The support (emotional, financial, moral, etc.) I've been given over the last couple years has been overwhelming. Thank you for your examples! I would not be here at the Lord's school if it wasn't for your belief in me.
God be with you 'til we meet again!
Ellie
P.S. It is now 5:56 AM. I am going now to do laundry for an hour or two and then sleep until noon, maybe do some homework, maybe go on a date, maybe sleep some more. My roommate and I ended up talking literally all night, which was unplanned but so, so worth it. It should be a fabulous day. [muffled "There Is Sunshine In My Soul" plays in the distance]
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