The Hardest Part
"I'm gonna sing a few words of this song and you have to guess what it is, okay? 'Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder-- Can you guess what it is? It's not the Happy Birthday song. Guess. I'll give you a hint: it starts with the letter 'P'. Guess! Guuuueeeeesssss! I only have one minute left in my brain. YES!! It's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!"
~ John in Episode 6 of Kid History
There's some happiness to make you happy and joyful and stuff. Trust me, you're gonna need all the joy you can get. So I'll be throwing in some funnies throughout this post to make you smile or at least not feel one hundred percent depressed.
I love Sundays! They are like magic. I also like random acts of secret service, they make me smile and giggle and cry and stuff.
"Faaaaaaaaaaact!"
~ Brett in Episode 4 of Kid History
Mmm. Okay. Here we come to climax of our story. Imagine a perfectly lovely Saturday with nice weather, which also happened to be the day that my BFFL's (Best Friend for Life) sister, Crystal, and her fiance got MARRIED!!!! YAYAYAY! So love was thick in the air, kind of like that haze that you breathe in when you go to Bath & Body Works. Anyways, I got all pretty and went to the wedding reception!! It as rockin'. I went home that night pretty happy about my life, because I was gonna get to see Mac in TWO DAYS!!! I had been waiting WEEKS to finally see him again, and it was almost time!
Quote from my journal: "P.S. Save the last dance for me... For Mac! :) <3"
The next day was a Sunday, August 14th, 2011. I woke up happy and pretty, ready to feel the Spirit and learn about marriage or something. I sat in church, barely able to concentrate because I was so excited to see Mac! In Young Womens, I made an announcement about joining choir and asked everyone to PLEASE Facebook stalk me that week because I was gonna be having a magical adventure with Mac! Everyone judged me and laughed, then we all had a moving lesson from Bishop Kenny about letting things go, enjoying your life where you are now, and getting past trials that seem like an eternity. It was funny, because I applied that lesson to my life by comparing it to my being mad at Mac for not talking to me as much as I would have liked (which is a dumb mistake I promise I will never make again). I went home still over the moon about my charmed life. First I practiced a little piano, then I began my packing process for UTAH!!! And EDUCATION WEEK!!! Since it was getting late and I was getting tired, I thought I could just stop on Facebook real quick to check up on Mac.
"That's a Polly Pocket. I don't know her name... She's a mermaid. Mermaids can walk with their tails. Girls are mermaids. Some boys are mermaids, too."
~ Randy from Episode 4 of Kid History
I casually and creepily meandered on over to Mac's wall and saw an unusual post. "May you and your family rest in peace."
Well, that's weird and so not hilarious. So I kept scrolling down. "See you in the Celestial Kingdom!"
Now I was panicking.
You know when you're walking down the stairs and not paying attention and your foot misses a step and you have a mini heart attack and have to pause for a moment to compose yourself? Imagine that mini heart attack, times a lot.
I continued digging, and finally found what I was looking for but dreading. Mac's uncle posted something that I'm paraphrasing and butchering because I can't find it anywhere on Facebook, but it went along the lines of: If anyone has not yet heard, my brother Randy, his wife Vicki, and their two children MacLean and Brittany all perished in a horrific plane crash this afternoon.
Um... What?
Now, I thought I had experienced the breaking of a heart before. I promise that no silly boy could EVER inflict upon you the emotional, mental, and physical pain that I was feeling. No words can really describe what I felt, but I will try my best to describe it.
It's like a knife straight through your chest, and a pain in your heart that hurt with every single beat. My brain felt numb, it was so shocking that I couldn't even take it in at first. I still can't really fully understand it. My best friend, or at least someone I was starting to become so close to, was gone. Worst of all was that I was on my way to see him, to get to know him on a deeper, more spiritual level at Education Week. This opportunity was no longer at my disposal to experience. There would be no more fun times with Mac, at least not in this life.
That night I made a painful, sob-filled phone call to my bestest friend, Lexafrex. She invited me over to stay the night, which at first I denied because 1.) her sister just got married and 2.) her entire extended family was at the house. So that made me feel even worse. (Yay for depression!)
Thankfully, I was able to spend the night at Lexi's with her wonderful cousin and my new friend Bree. During the night and into the early hours of the morning, I was able to assess my life and fix it. What really matters now that the person that I care about most is gone? Spiritual growth, and helping others cope. So I set to work studying my scriptures harder than ever, and reading my Patriarchal Blessing. Oh, and journaling.
If there is one thing you make sure to do in your life, keep a journal. I cannot emphasize how important it is to remember the precious moments and keep them close, and also to remember your trials and what helped you through them so that you can help others in the future.
Anyways, I went home and packed, which was weird. I was doing daily things as if nothing happened, as if life continued. In that week and the weeks following, however, it felt as though life had stopped dead in its tracks and I was destined to years of loneliness and sadness.
I'll get more into Education Week in a later post, but for now I leave you with this thought: Life is fragile and fleeting. Use your time wisely, for you or one you love could be called home at any given moment. The time we have here is God's decision for us to give us maximum happiness and great experiences that will benefit us into the eternities. Don't forget that, and please don't forget the story of Mac.
The next post is a special surprise for Mac Attack, my best friend, in honor of his 17th birthday this Thursday. Don't forget to study your scriptures and pray every night!
Much love,
Ellie
~ John in Episode 6 of Kid History
There's some happiness to make you happy and joyful and stuff. Trust me, you're gonna need all the joy you can get. So I'll be throwing in some funnies throughout this post to make you smile or at least not feel one hundred percent depressed.
I love Sundays! They are like magic. I also like random acts of secret service, they make me smile and giggle and cry and stuff.
"Faaaaaaaaaaact!"
~ Brett in Episode 4 of Kid History
Mmm. Okay. Here we come to climax of our story. Imagine a perfectly lovely Saturday with nice weather, which also happened to be the day that my BFFL's (Best Friend for Life) sister, Crystal, and her fiance got MARRIED!!!! YAYAYAY! So love was thick in the air, kind of like that haze that you breathe in when you go to Bath & Body Works. Anyways, I got all pretty and went to the wedding reception!! It as rockin'. I went home that night pretty happy about my life, because I was gonna get to see Mac in TWO DAYS!!! I had been waiting WEEKS to finally see him again, and it was almost time!
Quote from my journal: "P.S. Save the last dance for me... For Mac! :) <3"
The next day was a Sunday, August 14th, 2011. I woke up happy and pretty, ready to feel the Spirit and learn about marriage or something. I sat in church, barely able to concentrate because I was so excited to see Mac! In Young Womens, I made an announcement about joining choir and asked everyone to PLEASE Facebook stalk me that week because I was gonna be having a magical adventure with Mac! Everyone judged me and laughed, then we all had a moving lesson from Bishop Kenny about letting things go, enjoying your life where you are now, and getting past trials that seem like an eternity. It was funny, because I applied that lesson to my life by comparing it to my being mad at Mac for not talking to me as much as I would have liked (which is a dumb mistake I promise I will never make again). I went home still over the moon about my charmed life. First I practiced a little piano, then I began my packing process for UTAH!!! And EDUCATION WEEK!!! Since it was getting late and I was getting tired, I thought I could just stop on Facebook real quick to check up on Mac.
"That's a Polly Pocket. I don't know her name... She's a mermaid. Mermaids can walk with their tails. Girls are mermaids. Some boys are mermaids, too."
~ Randy from Episode 4 of Kid History
I casually and creepily meandered on over to Mac's wall and saw an unusual post. "May you and your family rest in peace."
Well, that's weird and so not hilarious. So I kept scrolling down. "See you in the Celestial Kingdom!"
Now I was panicking.
You know when you're walking down the stairs and not paying attention and your foot misses a step and you have a mini heart attack and have to pause for a moment to compose yourself? Imagine that mini heart attack, times a lot.
I continued digging, and finally found what I was looking for but dreading. Mac's uncle posted something that I'm paraphrasing and butchering because I can't find it anywhere on Facebook, but it went along the lines of: If anyone has not yet heard, my brother Randy, his wife Vicki, and their two children MacLean and Brittany all perished in a horrific plane crash this afternoon.
Um... What?
Now, I thought I had experienced the breaking of a heart before. I promise that no silly boy could EVER inflict upon you the emotional, mental, and physical pain that I was feeling. No words can really describe what I felt, but I will try my best to describe it.
It's like a knife straight through your chest, and a pain in your heart that hurt with every single beat. My brain felt numb, it was so shocking that I couldn't even take it in at first. I still can't really fully understand it. My best friend, or at least someone I was starting to become so close to, was gone. Worst of all was that I was on my way to see him, to get to know him on a deeper, more spiritual level at Education Week. This opportunity was no longer at my disposal to experience. There would be no more fun times with Mac, at least not in this life.
That night I made a painful, sob-filled phone call to my bestest friend, Lexafrex. She invited me over to stay the night, which at first I denied because 1.) her sister just got married and 2.) her entire extended family was at the house. So that made me feel even worse. (Yay for depression!)
Thankfully, I was able to spend the night at Lexi's with her wonderful cousin and my new friend Bree. During the night and into the early hours of the morning, I was able to assess my life and fix it. What really matters now that the person that I care about most is gone? Spiritual growth, and helping others cope. So I set to work studying my scriptures harder than ever, and reading my Patriarchal Blessing. Oh, and journaling.
If there is one thing you make sure to do in your life, keep a journal. I cannot emphasize how important it is to remember the precious moments and keep them close, and also to remember your trials and what helped you through them so that you can help others in the future.
Anyways, I went home and packed, which was weird. I was doing daily things as if nothing happened, as if life continued. In that week and the weeks following, however, it felt as though life had stopped dead in its tracks and I was destined to years of loneliness and sadness.
I'll get more into Education Week in a later post, but for now I leave you with this thought: Life is fragile and fleeting. Use your time wisely, for you or one you love could be called home at any given moment. The time we have here is God's decision for us to give us maximum happiness and great experiences that will benefit us into the eternities. Don't forget that, and please don't forget the story of Mac.
The next post is a special surprise for Mac Attack, my best friend, in honor of his 17th birthday this Thursday. Don't forget to study your scriptures and pray every night!
Much love,
Ellie
Are all those Kid History quotes in there to get me to watch it, Ellie?
ReplyDeleteI know I'm supposed to be this macho guy, but I still bawl every time I read this. My contacts were giving me grief as is, but...wow.
In other news, I'll be finishing the monologue tomorrow. Expect it around...noon-ish tomorrow.
Haha, yes, Taylor, go watch Kid History NOWWWWW!!!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. No matter how many times I tell this story, it's always just as painful.
I'll be looking forward to it! :)
Ellie Bolander, I absolutely, honestly just love you to pieces!! I admire your sweet and gentle spirit more than you know!! Thank you for sharing your story(:
ReplyDelete