Ellie's Feelings Deli

Because apparently some people can't get through their thick skulls what I tried to explain last time . So, Mormon culture. If you're a dude, you have been pretty much bombarded your whole life with the mission plan. When you turned 19 you would turn in your papers and go serve the Lord for two years, no questions asked. And if that didn't happen, people automatically thought there was something wrong with you. People still jump to the conclusion that if you didn't leave on your mission right on your 19th birthday, either you were sick or you weren't worthy to go. Which happens, yeah, but really? Can we move forward from 1950 and realize that everyone has their agency and has a decision to go or not to go? And those who are unable to go due to illness or worthiness issues aren't horrible people? After a year at BYU I met a myriad of individuals, both male and female, who couldn't serve missions because of their health. Most wanted to serve very much, esp

I literally have no introduction to this post so it's probably gonna jump around a lot and be sad but you know, the Ellie Bolander way is the way of the yolo so... #yolo Today (now yesterday) was May the 4th (May the 4th be with you) and it was a blast, we dressed up and got together and watched A New Hope (arguably the best of the original trilogy) and actually spent most of the night talking about boys but what else do you expect? Nerd girls have the most active hormones, I'm pretty sure. I know for a fact they have the most pent-up sexual frustration from all their love for fictional men, but hey, at least we have fun. I've also met the coolest (and cutest) dudes because of my obnoxious  encyclopedic knowledge of all things Marvel, Doctor Who, and Hobbit. (Not LotR, unfortunately, I'm still not quite hardcore enough to delve all the way into that trilogy. Tolkein is still a little too over my head.) I just reread what I just typed and I'm not even sure. SO ANY

To accompany this post, you need to put on some headphones and play "Sometime Around Midnight" by the Airborne Toxic Event, and then put on "Sovereign Light Cafe" by Keane next. Got it? Almost ready? Good. Now that we have that taken care of, let's talk about BYU. The school year has come to an end, and as I reflect on what crazy shenanigans I took part in, I can't help but feel overjoyed, slightly sorrowful, guilty, and finally consumed with thought. I am now chilling in California enjoying a much-needed break after a ridiculously stressful, emotionally- and spiritually-stretching Freshman year, and deeply missing all the people I met, all the sights and sounds, the mundane tasks that occurred every day from September to April that I didn't think of while I was doing them but now wish I could do again, the mistakes I made, the mistakes I didn't make, and the people I wish I had more time with. I think the deepest regret a person can have is th