Let's Talk Some More About Missions!
Because apparently some people can't get through their thick skulls what I tried to explain last time.
So, Mormon culture. If you're a dude, you have been pretty much bombarded your whole life with the mission plan. When you turned 19 you would turn in your papers and go serve the Lord for two years, no questions asked. And if that didn't happen, people automatically thought there was something wrong with you. People still jump to the conclusion that if you didn't leave on your mission right on your 19th birthday, either you were sick or you weren't worthy to go. Which happens, yeah, but really?
Can we move forward from 1950 and realize that everyone has their agency and has a decision to go or not to go? And those who are unable to go due to illness or worthiness issues aren't horrible people? After a year at BYU I met a myriad of individuals, both male and female, who couldn't serve missions because of their health. Most wanted to serve very much, especially the boys. They struggled with feelings of worthlessness and depression because they thought, if this is what I'm supposed to do, why can't I do it? And that is a totally viable question. It's a question I often think about. How would you answer that to someone? If someone grew up knowing it was their responsibility to serve a mission and then got to that point only to be told no, how could you tell them that it was their fault and that there is something inherently wrong with them because of that? No, you wouldn't, unless you're a horrible person who is probably a communist and kicks puppies in your spare time.
But really, think about that next time you hear someone isn't serving a mission. How would you deal with that if you were the one with the illness? It's a thought-provoking question and begs the idea that maybe missions aren't required!!
Oh wow! What a revelation! Thank you, Ellie, for bringing this new, unheard-of thought to light!! Truly incredible!!!
But let me tell you right now, okay. If you are physically and emotionally able to serve a mission (and are a dude), what are you doing?? Get up and GO!
This guy I dated at the beginning of the school year told me he didn't want to go on a mission because, and I quote, "I don't want the Church to rule my life."
???
?????
Dude, if you think the Church is "ruling your life" by "forcing" you to serve a mission, you have everything in your life so messed up and your opinions suck and I hate you (still not over it). He was so thick and dull-witted and I don't even know why I wasted my time because he obviously did not understand that the point of a mission is to give yourself to the Lord, not to the Church. It's all about serving other people. Serving total strangers. In a totally new place. For two years. And people do that because they want to. Now sure, there can be a lot of family and ward pressure, but if you really didn't want to go, you wouldn't go! Those who serve missions now are a generation of young adults who genuinely desire to serve their God through serving others, and are totally willing to give up 18 to 24 months of their lives to do so.
In my opinion, a mission is one of the most selfless things a person can do, and I am inspired every time I see a young man or woman working hard to make themselves ready to go on a mission. It's such a cool transformation that takes place, turning someone from a little punk into a wonderful, faithful individual. With that preparation comes a deeper understanding of the Gospel, and from that understanding comes more love, righteousness, and enduring to the end. It's so cool.
Anyways, I guess I just wanted to rant about that because that dude was an idiot and seriously, he was cute but no pretty face is worth the "I don't want the Church to rule my life" comment, like dang son get the Spirit or something.
To those who are able to serve but haven't, it's totally up to you. My decision to serve a mission wasn't just because it's the right thing to do, or because I want to go on a glorified study abroad, or because I don't have anything else going on in my life so I might as well. Nope, I'm putting my education, my relationships, and my professional life on hold for this. I'm blowing all my college savings on this. I'm leaving my family for 18 months for this. Why? Because I love the Lord. And because I love Him and want to know Him better, I am giving my life to Him. I've looked at my decision to serve in every way from every possible angle and perspective and the conclusion that I've come to is that yeah, I'm in the middle of college and yeah I don't have any money but really, a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the absolute best way I can be spending my time.
I'm sure we've all had encounters where we procrastinate or become slothful and lax. That's been pretty much my whole life until I got to BYU, and even then I feel like I wasted a lot of time (going to school full-time and working a part-time job, because that's a waste). I need to give myself the opportunity to serve to make myself better, and to improve my relationship with the Lord. At the same time, this burning testimony and fire of faith inside of me would mean nothing if I did not share it. The joy that comes from the Gospel is a joy that needs to be shared, and so I want to go serve to share that joy and light and peace. The world needs that right now, so who better than little old me to try and help?
I don't even know, guys. There are a lot of you struggling with your decision to serve or not. Sometimes the Lord leaves decisions up to us. For me, staying at BYU is a good thing, but it isn't the best thing. The best thing is giving everything up to the Lord. But your best thing might be something else. Pray about it, and if you know in your heart that it's the best thing to do, do it! You will not regret it, and it won't ruin the course of your existence. It's a big decision but the Lord has a plan so no matter what you choose to do, if you come back to righteousness and ultimately choose His path, you'll be fine.
Let's all get worthy, stay worthy, and serve the Lord in one way or another. Don't judge those who choose differently than you, who feel and think differently than you, and who desire different things than you. You are in absolutely no place to judge them because you are no better than they are so get off your high horse, humble yourself, and get to work. (You can tell I might have a bit of pent-up frustration about people being huge d-bags.)
Whew. Now that I've got that off my chest, new stuff from the mind of Brolander.
What if you made the decision to prepare for a mission but then start rethinking things?
HA which is so great because look at all the stuff I just said about it being the best thing for me, yada yada...
It's so dumb and I'll probably snap out of it in a day or two, but... I've just been thinking about all the amazing people I met this last year and how I'm really drawn to some of them and their friendships and would it be possible to go back to Provo after the summer is out? Again, it's silly and I'm probably just tired and friend-deprived but I've just been having this nagging feeling that I can't shake about maybe looking at different options. I'm still preparing for a mission and definitely turning in my papers and all that good stuff, my mind isn't changing completely just yet, but... Is this so dumb? I'm dumb. Never mind. Ignore me.
Also, working on a new song and the only lyrics I have so far is "I wish we met sooner, so I could love you longer."
That's it. That's the song. #art
Yeah, I am dumb. This is dumb. I get really nervous about what to say and not to say because I don't know who regularly reads my blog and so if *certain people* are regularly checking it they're putting the pieces together and they're thinking "Oh! She's definitely talking about me," to which they could either respond positively like "Yeah that girl is cute and cool so it's fine if she's subtly referencing me in her creepy blog posts" or it'll be more like "Ew I hate her we never even talk why does she think about me so much I don't even remember her name who is this girl even who does she think she is gross #trashy" and they'll probably exit out of my blog while filing their nails or twirling their handlebar moustache and that thought alone is terrifying, I'm just really afraid of 1.) cute boys, 2.) hot moms, and 3.) 8th grade girls. So if you are any of those things please don't be too hard on me, I care too much about your opinion because I'm dumb and this is dumb ahhhh.
ANYWAYS. Anyways. #anyways
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out if this is just me overthinking things and being dumb or if there's something worth pursuing and staying home for. Which kills me because when my bestie Cheyenne left for her mission she was dating this guy (who was totally lame and NOT cute, by the way) (which Cheyenne already knows because I reminded her often about it) and was questioning serving a mission and I was like yo girl, if you guys aren't at proposal status yet, FORGET HIM and go be awesome!! Also he's ugly and really lame!!! And she was like yeah I guess... And now I'm at that point like, why am I even questioning this?? I'm not dating anyone, but I guess the potential is what's getting to me and I don't want to lose any possible awesome experiences. Because I'm a loser and am not capable of adequately deciphering my own mind's thoughts and biases and I'm bad at the human experience in general? I don't even know.
Surprise, you didn't know this mission rant was going to turn into Ellie's quarter-life crisis rant. I have a lot of feelings and how I am able to sort through those feelings is by thinking aloud, which is so great because there are just so many people surrounding me at all times that I can think aloud to *sarcasm* so instead of verbally sorting through my thoughts I have to type them out to help me think and you, as my reader, get to suffer through my thought pools and try not to drown or be disgusted because this is dumb.
Well. That thought got away from me. Stay tuned for more emotional rants, because I know they're totally your favorite. I mean, this is Ellie's blog, so it makes sense. But yeah, sorry I'm dumb.
I love you all a ridiculous amount. Stay swaggy.
Love,
Ellie
P.S. Someone come cuddle with me and maybe a massage would be really nice too
P.P.S. I will pay you in chocolate chip cookies
P.P.P.S. If someone could just tell me who I'm supposed to marry that would be really great
P.P.P.P.S. Literally I have a list of awesome movies I want to watch before I leave but no one hear is cool, adventurous, and "chill Mormon" enough to watch them with me. #whyisthestrugglesoreal
So, Mormon culture. If you're a dude, you have been pretty much bombarded your whole life with the mission plan. When you turned 19 you would turn in your papers and go serve the Lord for two years, no questions asked. And if that didn't happen, people automatically thought there was something wrong with you. People still jump to the conclusion that if you didn't leave on your mission right on your 19th birthday, either you were sick or you weren't worthy to go. Which happens, yeah, but really?
Can we move forward from 1950 and realize that everyone has their agency and has a decision to go or not to go? And those who are unable to go due to illness or worthiness issues aren't horrible people? After a year at BYU I met a myriad of individuals, both male and female, who couldn't serve missions because of their health. Most wanted to serve very much, especially the boys. They struggled with feelings of worthlessness and depression because they thought, if this is what I'm supposed to do, why can't I do it? And that is a totally viable question. It's a question I often think about. How would you answer that to someone? If someone grew up knowing it was their responsibility to serve a mission and then got to that point only to be told no, how could you tell them that it was their fault and that there is something inherently wrong with them because of that? No, you wouldn't, unless you're a horrible person who is probably a communist and kicks puppies in your spare time.
But really, think about that next time you hear someone isn't serving a mission. How would you deal with that if you were the one with the illness? It's a thought-provoking question and begs the idea that maybe missions aren't required!!
Oh wow! What a revelation! Thank you, Ellie, for bringing this new, unheard-of thought to light!! Truly incredible!!!
But let me tell you right now, okay. If you are physically and emotionally able to serve a mission (and are a dude), what are you doing?? Get up and GO!
This guy I dated at the beginning of the school year told me he didn't want to go on a mission because, and I quote, "I don't want the Church to rule my life."
???
?????
Dude, if you think the Church is "ruling your life" by "forcing" you to serve a mission, you have everything in your life so messed up and your opinions suck and I hate you (still not over it). He was so thick and dull-witted and I don't even know why I wasted my time because he obviously did not understand that the point of a mission is to give yourself to the Lord, not to the Church. It's all about serving other people. Serving total strangers. In a totally new place. For two years. And people do that because they want to. Now sure, there can be a lot of family and ward pressure, but if you really didn't want to go, you wouldn't go! Those who serve missions now are a generation of young adults who genuinely desire to serve their God through serving others, and are totally willing to give up 18 to 24 months of their lives to do so.
In my opinion, a mission is one of the most selfless things a person can do, and I am inspired every time I see a young man or woman working hard to make themselves ready to go on a mission. It's such a cool transformation that takes place, turning someone from a little punk into a wonderful, faithful individual. With that preparation comes a deeper understanding of the Gospel, and from that understanding comes more love, righteousness, and enduring to the end. It's so cool.
Anyways, I guess I just wanted to rant about that because that dude was an idiot and seriously, he was cute but no pretty face is worth the "I don't want the Church to rule my life" comment, like dang son get the Spirit or something.
To those who are able to serve but haven't, it's totally up to you. My decision to serve a mission wasn't just because it's the right thing to do, or because I want to go on a glorified study abroad, or because I don't have anything else going on in my life so I might as well. Nope, I'm putting my education, my relationships, and my professional life on hold for this. I'm blowing all my college savings on this. I'm leaving my family for 18 months for this. Why? Because I love the Lord. And because I love Him and want to know Him better, I am giving my life to Him. I've looked at my decision to serve in every way from every possible angle and perspective and the conclusion that I've come to is that yeah, I'm in the middle of college and yeah I don't have any money but really, a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the absolute best way I can be spending my time.
I'm sure we've all had encounters where we procrastinate or become slothful and lax. That's been pretty much my whole life until I got to BYU, and even then I feel like I wasted a lot of time (going to school full-time and working a part-time job, because that's a waste). I need to give myself the opportunity to serve to make myself better, and to improve my relationship with the Lord. At the same time, this burning testimony and fire of faith inside of me would mean nothing if I did not share it. The joy that comes from the Gospel is a joy that needs to be shared, and so I want to go serve to share that joy and light and peace. The world needs that right now, so who better than little old me to try and help?
I don't even know, guys. There are a lot of you struggling with your decision to serve or not. Sometimes the Lord leaves decisions up to us. For me, staying at BYU is a good thing, but it isn't the best thing. The best thing is giving everything up to the Lord. But your best thing might be something else. Pray about it, and if you know in your heart that it's the best thing to do, do it! You will not regret it, and it won't ruin the course of your existence. It's a big decision but the Lord has a plan so no matter what you choose to do, if you come back to righteousness and ultimately choose His path, you'll be fine.
Let's all get worthy, stay worthy, and serve the Lord in one way or another. Don't judge those who choose differently than you, who feel and think differently than you, and who desire different things than you. You are in absolutely no place to judge them because you are no better than they are so get off your high horse, humble yourself, and get to work. (You can tell I might have a bit of pent-up frustration about people being huge d-bags.)
Whew. Now that I've got that off my chest, new stuff from the mind of Brolander.
What if you made the decision to prepare for a mission but then start rethinking things?
HA which is so great because look at all the stuff I just said about it being the best thing for me, yada yada...
It's so dumb and I'll probably snap out of it in a day or two, but... I've just been thinking about all the amazing people I met this last year and how I'm really drawn to some of them and their friendships and would it be possible to go back to Provo after the summer is out? Again, it's silly and I'm probably just tired and friend-deprived but I've just been having this nagging feeling that I can't shake about maybe looking at different options. I'm still preparing for a mission and definitely turning in my papers and all that good stuff, my mind isn't changing completely just yet, but... Is this so dumb? I'm dumb. Never mind. Ignore me.
Also, working on a new song and the only lyrics I have so far is "I wish we met sooner, so I could love you longer."
That's it. That's the song. #art
Yeah, I am dumb. This is dumb. I get really nervous about what to say and not to say because I don't know who regularly reads my blog and so if *certain people* are regularly checking it they're putting the pieces together and they're thinking "Oh! She's definitely talking about me," to which they could either respond positively like "Yeah that girl is cute and cool so it's fine if she's subtly referencing me in her creepy blog posts" or it'll be more like "Ew I hate her we never even talk why does she think about me so much I don't even remember her name who is this girl even who does she think she is gross #trashy" and they'll probably exit out of my blog while filing their nails or twirling their handlebar moustache and that thought alone is terrifying, I'm just really afraid of 1.) cute boys, 2.) hot moms, and 3.) 8th grade girls. So if you are any of those things please don't be too hard on me, I care too much about your opinion because I'm dumb and this is dumb ahhhh.
ANYWAYS. Anyways. #anyways
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out if this is just me overthinking things and being dumb or if there's something worth pursuing and staying home for. Which kills me because when my bestie Cheyenne left for her mission she was dating this guy (who was totally lame and NOT cute, by the way) (which Cheyenne already knows because I reminded her often about it) and was questioning serving a mission and I was like yo girl, if you guys aren't at proposal status yet, FORGET HIM and go be awesome!! Also he's ugly and really lame!!! And she was like yeah I guess... And now I'm at that point like, why am I even questioning this?? I'm not dating anyone, but I guess the potential is what's getting to me and I don't want to lose any possible awesome experiences. Because I'm a loser and am not capable of adequately deciphering my own mind's thoughts and biases and I'm bad at the human experience in general? I don't even know.
Surprise, you didn't know this mission rant was going to turn into Ellie's quarter-life crisis rant. I have a lot of feelings and how I am able to sort through those feelings is by thinking aloud, which is so great because there are just so many people surrounding me at all times that I can think aloud to *sarcasm* so instead of verbally sorting through my thoughts I have to type them out to help me think and you, as my reader, get to suffer through my thought pools and try not to drown or be disgusted because this is dumb.
Well. That thought got away from me. Stay tuned for more emotional rants, because I know they're totally your favorite. I mean, this is Ellie's blog, so it makes sense. But yeah, sorry I'm dumb.
I love you all a ridiculous amount. Stay swaggy.
Love,
Ellie
P.S. Someone come cuddle with me and maybe a massage would be really nice too
P.P.S. I will pay you in chocolate chip cookies
P.P.P.S. If someone could just tell me who I'm supposed to marry that would be really great
P.P.P.P.S. Literally I have a list of awesome movies I want to watch before I leave but no one hear is cool, adventurous, and "chill Mormon" enough to watch them with me. #whyisthestrugglesoreal
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