Some Positive Affirmations (and a little self-reflection)
Well, hey there, folks. Literally every time I start a new blog post I'm like, what did I talk about last time? And I can't remember because my last blog post was at least a thousand years ago. #bloggergametooweak
But I've been busy working and yoloing and stuff, plus like who even cares about Ellie's blog, amirite?
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| Can't handle all these haters :'( |
Speaking of inspirational, though, really, you (my readers) are so swag and too awesome. The Lord has seriously blessed me with some really cool people (including family, good friends, and awesome acquaintances) who give me strength and make me feel so good when I don't deserve it at all. Like I've said before, I am seriously a loser. A massive thank-you and bless you to all of you who go out of your way to validate me as a person and make me feel good, despite my ridiculous flaws.
Something I've come to realize this week (or re-realize, I guess) is that first, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is hugely focused on progression. I'm not just talking, like, social progression or technological progression or things like that. I'm talking constant spiritual progression, the kind of change that leads you up the path of righteousness. No matter how you were raised, where you were born, what you were taught, or what you've done (the most important), you can still move past all those things and experience great change.
Now, I know what it feels like to get stuck in that process. We often justify ourselves into a place of monotony, where no negative change is occurring, but maybe positive change isn't happening, either. I've had so many conversations with people who feel like their lives are going nowhere, like everyone is hating and they are totally alone, and they don't know how to get out of their situation. As someone who knows this feeling of hopelessness, loneliness, and of being stuck, I can assure you that the absolute best way to feel better is to empower yourself by moving towards positive change.
I'll take myself as an example because I'm good at ragging on myself, and I don't want to offend anyone else in similar situations, haha.
So when I was younger, probably 11 or 12, there were some girls in my Sunday School class who were super clique-y and rude. Sometimes their actions were inadvertent, but sometimes they were just mean to be mean. I was a pretty sensitive and weak kid, so going all DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie) on the bullies was not something I was prepared to do. It got to a point where I didn't even want to go to church because I was so miserable. They would tease me in the halls, openly mock me in class, and go out of their way to be bleepity bleeping JERKS. My parents were pretty worried because who wouldn't be if that was a situation their kid's stuck in? After a year of dealing with their crap, I honestly don't remember what happened that stopped the bullying. I don't think it was me. It just kind of... stopped. Because I got lucky. That rarely ever happens. Typically in situations like that, you have to stand up for yourself to make a change, and even then things might not get better. But I do remember that my attitude changed. I decided that my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was much stronger than my desire to hide under a rock for the rest of my life. And so I began my journey of strengthening my own will-power, so that when I was faced with those massive waves of adverse voices again, it wouldn't be as hard. Which has worked great, and not because I'm awesome, but because Jesus is awesome. He gives me the strength every day to stand up for what I believe, to shed the chains of sin that weigh me down, and work on becoming better than I was the day before. No matter what your race, nationality, gender, sexuality, height, weight, WHATEVER... Jesus Christ died for your sins. He loves you more than anything and wants to see you progress. And if you are struggling, if you are suffering, bring the thoughts of your heart to Him. I promise you that with righteous desire for an answer and humbling yourself before God, peace will come to your heart and mind and you will find truth. No matter what!!
That being said, there are so many people who claim that they can't find truth because of their circumstance. And to that I would say, I know. There have been many times where I feel I've been "deprived" of an answer to a prayer and I have no idea where God is and why He isn't listening. But then after some self-reflection, I immediately feel humbled because I realize I am not perfect. Time and time again this remembrance comes to me and I remember that I have sins that maybe I need to give up. We can't demand answers from God if we ourselves aren't doing what we're supposed to be doing. Repentance comes first along with faith, and then when our hearts have been softened answers come. In a more recent case, there have been parts of my personality, not things I ever counted as "sins", that I quickly realized I need to give up to the Lord. The purpose of life is to gain immortality and eternal life and return to God one day. All people have to sacrifice to get there, and all people CAN get there if they make themselves willing to sacrifice. For instance, I really love men. Like a lot, haha.
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| "Lord, on behalf of men everywhere please keep Ellie Bolander away from us. Amen." |
So it might not be that bad, but I do love kissing. And sometimes that gets me into trouble.
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| "Trouble starts with T and that rhymes with E and that stands for ELLIE BOLANDER" |
MAN I am on a ROLL. Okay, anyways, I love dudes. But as I'm preparing for a mission, I'm learning sacrifice is a huge part of the work. And so along with the basic sacrifices that every missionary makes (family, friends, school, work, money) each of us can also make personal sacrifices that are specific to us. That's one thing I'm already loving about missions. If we want to have a good experience, if we don't want to be miserable for 18-24 months, we have to learn how to give up our "favorite sins" and learn perfect obedience. For instance, my dear Linus has recently made the seemingly small sacrifice of only emailing on his P Days (the missionary equivalent of having a day off) for a little over an hour as opposed to 2 or 3 hours. I can tell his excitement in this new change. Even though it seems like not that big a deal, it's hard for me and especially for his family because our weekly dose of Linus just got a lot smaller. It's hard! But it's also wonderful to know that with great sacrifice comes great blessings, and the Lord knows our hearts and what's hard for us. When He sees us struggling with something and sees that we decide to give it up, He rejoices because that's one step closer that we're taking towards Him. For instance, if I'm really struggling with kissing boys, and I know I shouldn't be kissing boys the way I am, and I know it's not good for me to be kissing boys that way during my preparation for a mission, then it's gonna be hard because I love kissing but I'm just gonna give it up and give myself to the Lord.
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| Just giving up all these feels :'( |
Love yourself! Choose happiness, choose Jesus! In Him is found the greatest of joy, peace, and love. We can absolutely survive any and all obstacles thrown at us when we choose the Lord's side! Don't get discouraged by whatever trials you face, because God is bigger than all of that. Hold fast to Him and the Gospel and you'll be absolutely fan-freaking-tastic.
Also, my mission papers go in TOMORROW
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| This is what comes up when you Google "missionary stock photo". Did not know Christian churches also have suit-and-tie biking missionaries. This is so great. #thatJesuslife |
#mormonswagtoostrong
Love,
Ellie
P.S. Do you like my stock photos
P.P.S. #stockphotogametoostrong
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
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