Ellie and the Ex-Mormon
I read my call, and it told me I was going to Uruguay. Awesome. But then I kept reading. And it said, "You have been found as one worthy to serve..."
That felt weird. I didn't feel worthy.
What does that even mean, being worthy? It's tricky, I think. Trickier than just saying, you're worthy vs you're unworthy. Because when I think of being worthy, I think of how I would feel standing in front of God. And honestly, I don't think anything I do could make me feel worthy of that. So what does that mean?
Being "worthy" means having merit, being a person of merit, as oppose to having worth, which means being valued, appreciated, and noble.
And the thing is that people constantly mix the two together, especially in certain religious cultures, where you are deemed "unworthy" and looked down on because of something you've done. But unworthy of what?
A wonderful realization that I've come to this week is that we are never, ever, EVER unworthy of speaking to God. He is our Father and He will never abandon us or cut us off. A tactic of the Adversary is that he tries to trick us into thinking that we're not worthy of speaking to God. But it's a two-way communication, and God's line is never closed. Sometimes we cut ourselves off.
So we are never unworthy to speak to our Father. We might not qualify for certain blessings or be able to take part in certain religious rites or rituals. Not because God doesn't want us to, but because we need to be ready to partake of those things. Kind of like if you're going to someone's house and they just cleaned their carpet and you walk in with dirty shoes (#rude). Be respectful and understand the standards set and then adhere to those standards if you want to be able to fully experience the blessings of righteous living.
So there's a difference between being worthy and having worth. Your worth is never diminished by your actions. However, your worthiness wholly depends on what you choose to do and how you choose to be. But don't mix up the two. God is always there for you, He is always listening and waiting for you to speak to Him. Don't trick yourself into believing you are unworthy of communicating with God. Christ is our Mediator and we can talk to God because of Him. (And that's a whole other rant because literally everything we do, everything we are, is because of Jesus Christ but that's another post for another day.)
I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't put yourself down and be like, "God must hate me." Instead take those struggles and weaknesses and lay them at His feet. Say, Father, I am weak and I am broken. Here is what I'm struggling with, help me fix this and become better.
And He will! He will help you because He loves you, no matter what you've done. Look forward to the future with hope and focus on a better tomorrow. Confessing your weaknesses to God will take off a huge load and will also give you the strength you need to carry on to a new day, and the ability to overcome your weakness and create strength. Ether 12:27 says, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
Don't get discouraged by your weaknesses, they have a purpose! They are there, believe it or not, to make you stronger. Our weaknesses allow us to be humbled, often motivates us to better living, and let's us partner up with Christ to become SO MUCH BETTER! To become what we are meant to be! And what we are meant to be is far greater than what we can become in this life. What an exciting prospect.
Also remember that worthiness can also mean qualifications for certain blessings. Not that God will withhold blessings from us because we screw up, because we screw up ALL THE TIME! What kind of Father would our Heavenly Father be if He withheld blessings simply because He didn't think we were good enough? He does not see us in the here and now, He knows who we really are and who we can become! And knowing that, knowing our full potential, He wants nothing more than to constantly rain blessings on us to motivate us towards a better way of life. But as said in the October 2014 General Women's Meeting by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
Most often it is our own actions that limit the blessings Father has for us from reaching us. The blessings He has in store are things that will strengthen us, make us happy, help us to more fully enjoy life, and most importantly things that will propel us forward into becoming better, becoming more like Christ.
I had an experience in Salt Lake at General Conference this October that made me laugh. I was standing on the sidewalk next to a protester. He was an ex-Mormon and was shouting about all the things Mormons "gotta do," listing off everything from attending the temple to hours of church every Sunday to home teaching. "Mormons say, 'I gotta do this' and 'I gotta do that'. You don't 'gotta' do anything! Find Jesus Christ and be saved!" And then he blew this awesome horn at everyone and started a rant about how Mormons aren't *real* Christians and we don't believe in the *real* Jesus... Ah, memories.
I just felt kinda bad for this guy, though. First of all, the fact you traveled all the way across the country (he was from Missouri, holla at Governor Boggs) just to fight against something that's PRETTY DANG GREAT, OKAY and second, you don't even know what you're talking about, dude.
Sometimes it can be kind of overwhelming to be a member of the Church. And by sometimes I mean like ALL THE TIME. Anywhere you go, whether it be the Christian capital of the west (holla at Colorado Springs), the Mormon capital of America (holla at Utah which is an okay state), the Ebola capital of the world (I'm really sorry, Liberia), or friggin', I don't even know, Spain or something, being a Mormon is HARD. We have hecka high standards. We go to three hours of church every Sunday, with hours of meetings throughout the week. We have conferences, temple attendance on top of church attendance, family history, service, etc. etc. etc., we have SO MANY THINGS that we do every day.
Some people are offended by that. Some people think we're "working our way into Heaven" or trying to "prove we're better" or something, which, no. That's not it at all. Guess what? Heaven is a guarantee for every single person. Even murderers, robbers, and those who rejected the Gospel will get to Heaven. Why? Because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross, and His suffering in the garden. His Atonement covered ALL sins, turmoils, sicknesses, pains, losses, everything, for every person, ever. The only thing required to get into Heaven is to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ. That being said, however, doesn't mean it won't be easy: those who are "not willing to enjoy that which they might have received" (D&C 88:32), or those who will end up in the telestial kingdom (see here about the kingdoms of glory), will have to suffer for a short time the atrocities that they committed during their life on Earth before the last resurrection. These are the unrepentant sinners. Joseph Fielding Smith, in regards to the telestial kingdom, said, "They have no part in the first resurrection and are not redeemed from the devil and his angels until the last resurrection, because of their wicked lives and their evil deeds. Nevertheless, even these are heirs of salvation, but before they are redeemed and enter into their kingdom, they must repent of their sins, and receive the gospel, and bow the knee, and acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer of the world" ["Teachings Concerning The Telestial Glory"].
Okay, so that was really long. But the point of that is, even those murderers and liars and adulterers will still have to truthfully learn for themselves and be willing to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ. And then that's it! There's Heaven. Awesome.
But their progression will be limited. "Progression? What??"
SURPRISE. Heaven will not be a place somewhere in the clouds where we all wear white robes for eternity and sing hymns in praise to God. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people will do that at least some of the time (Mormons love singing like dang), but what if you hate singing? Then what? And man, eternity is a freaking long time! Doing the same things and staying in the same place for literally forever sounds more like hell than anything. God knows this, and that's why that's not what Heaven will be. And even when we get to Heaven, that isn't the end goal.
We will be constantly learning, progressing, and practicing becoming like our Father, literally becoming gods (at least, those who achieve celestial glory). Do you understand how big a deal that is? That ability, that privilege, will not come easy. This time on earth is a lifelong learning experience, a chance for us to learn and grow as much as we can to prepare ourselves for even more progression in Heaven. Unlimited knowledge and power sounds pretty awesome, but think of all the people, and maybe even yourself, as someone who maybe hasn't accepted the Gospel, maybe someone who isn't living in a way that's super awesome, and how awful it would be to say here in mortal life, "screw it," and continue simply surviving and maybe even ignoring the fullness of the restored truths of the Gospel, and then when you get to that point in eternity when the judgments come and you are sent to a kingdom lower than that of the celestial, you realize your progression is limited. For eternity. You will eventually hit a point in your progression and it won't be able to grow or continue. That, to me, sounds like a form of hell, and I think many people won't realize that until too late. Even though they will have made it into a kingdom of Heaven, they won't be maximizing their divine potential.
Dang that tangent though... Back to the fun Conference guy! There are no things in life we "gotta" do. Nothing is forced upon us. We can, in actuality, do whatever the heck we want to do. There will be consequences for every action, but why worry about that? Just yolo it up, man!
But if we don't have to do all these things, why the heck do we do them? Because, in the words of the ultimate bro Brad Wilcox, "We aren't earning Heaven. We are learning Heaven." Preparation to literally become like God isn't a preparation that is easy. Much is required. But the more I learn about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and strengthen my relationship with God and utilize the power of the Atonement every day, the greater my desire is to reach my divine potential, a goal that cannot be reached without the knowledge of God and the knowledge of His Son's Atonement. All these things that Mormons do that make them seem like busy bees constantly running around aren't to check off a to-do list or a report card or simply appear Christian. It is to help us, we imperfect mortal beings, to 1.) give us opportunities to get outside ourselves and serve others, and 2.) help us stay focused on God's work and keep an eternal perspective. Progress isn't something that happens overnight, it is a lifelong pursuit! This life is not all there is, and I have seen countless examples of that fact, and in the fact that God lives and is very active in our lives.
So to Mr. Conference Protester, I hope you figure things out. I am sorry you felt so much pressure in your church service that you felt you had to leave and I hope you find happiness and true peace in your life. You don't "gotta" do anything, but our actions are rooted in our deepest desires, so I know if you are truly rooted to Christ you will be able to spread goodness throughout the world, whether it be with your Mormon brothers and sisters or not.
Holla back,
Ellie
That felt weird. I didn't feel worthy.
What does that even mean, being worthy? It's tricky, I think. Trickier than just saying, you're worthy vs you're unworthy. Because when I think of being worthy, I think of how I would feel standing in front of God. And honestly, I don't think anything I do could make me feel worthy of that. So what does that mean?
Being "worthy" means having merit, being a person of merit, as oppose to having worth, which means being valued, appreciated, and noble.
And the thing is that people constantly mix the two together, especially in certain religious cultures, where you are deemed "unworthy" and looked down on because of something you've done. But unworthy of what?
A wonderful realization that I've come to this week is that we are never, ever, EVER unworthy of speaking to God. He is our Father and He will never abandon us or cut us off. A tactic of the Adversary is that he tries to trick us into thinking that we're not worthy of speaking to God. But it's a two-way communication, and God's line is never closed. Sometimes we cut ourselves off.
So we are never unworthy to speak to our Father. We might not qualify for certain blessings or be able to take part in certain religious rites or rituals. Not because God doesn't want us to, but because we need to be ready to partake of those things. Kind of like if you're going to someone's house and they just cleaned their carpet and you walk in with dirty shoes (#rude). Be respectful and understand the standards set and then adhere to those standards if you want to be able to fully experience the blessings of righteous living.
So there's a difference between being worthy and having worth. Your worth is never diminished by your actions. However, your worthiness wholly depends on what you choose to do and how you choose to be. But don't mix up the two. God is always there for you, He is always listening and waiting for you to speak to Him. Don't trick yourself into believing you are unworthy of communicating with God. Christ is our Mediator and we can talk to God because of Him. (And that's a whole other rant because literally everything we do, everything we are, is because of Jesus Christ but that's another post for another day.)
I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't put yourself down and be like, "God must hate me." Instead take those struggles and weaknesses and lay them at His feet. Say, Father, I am weak and I am broken. Here is what I'm struggling with, help me fix this and become better.
And He will! He will help you because He loves you, no matter what you've done. Look forward to the future with hope and focus on a better tomorrow. Confessing your weaknesses to God will take off a huge load and will also give you the strength you need to carry on to a new day, and the ability to overcome your weakness and create strength. Ether 12:27 says, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
Don't get discouraged by your weaknesses, they have a purpose! They are there, believe it or not, to make you stronger. Our weaknesses allow us to be humbled, often motivates us to better living, and let's us partner up with Christ to become SO MUCH BETTER! To become what we are meant to be! And what we are meant to be is far greater than what we can become in this life. What an exciting prospect.
Also remember that worthiness can also mean qualifications for certain blessings. Not that God will withhold blessings from us because we screw up, because we screw up ALL THE TIME! What kind of Father would our Heavenly Father be if He withheld blessings simply because He didn't think we were good enough? He does not see us in the here and now, He knows who we really are and who we can become! And knowing that, knowing our full potential, He wants nothing more than to constantly rain blessings on us to motivate us towards a better way of life. But as said in the October 2014 General Women's Meeting by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
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| Found at www.paperelli.com/blog |
I had an experience in Salt Lake at General Conference this October that made me laugh. I was standing on the sidewalk next to a protester. He was an ex-Mormon and was shouting about all the things Mormons "gotta do," listing off everything from attending the temple to hours of church every Sunday to home teaching. "Mormons say, 'I gotta do this' and 'I gotta do that'. You don't 'gotta' do anything! Find Jesus Christ and be saved!" And then he blew this awesome horn at everyone and started a rant about how Mormons aren't *real* Christians and we don't believe in the *real* Jesus... Ah, memories.
I just felt kinda bad for this guy, though. First of all, the fact you traveled all the way across the country (he was from Missouri, holla at Governor Boggs) just to fight against something that's PRETTY DANG GREAT, OKAY and second, you don't even know what you're talking about, dude.
Sometimes it can be kind of overwhelming to be a member of the Church. And by sometimes I mean like ALL THE TIME. Anywhere you go, whether it be the Christian capital of the west (holla at Colorado Springs), the Mormon capital of America (holla at Utah which is an okay state), the Ebola capital of the world (I'm really sorry, Liberia), or friggin', I don't even know, Spain or something, being a Mormon is HARD. We have hecka high standards. We go to three hours of church every Sunday, with hours of meetings throughout the week. We have conferences, temple attendance on top of church attendance, family history, service, etc. etc. etc., we have SO MANY THINGS that we do every day.
Some people are offended by that. Some people think we're "working our way into Heaven" or trying to "prove we're better" or something, which, no. That's not it at all. Guess what? Heaven is a guarantee for every single person. Even murderers, robbers, and those who rejected the Gospel will get to Heaven. Why? Because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross, and His suffering in the garden. His Atonement covered ALL sins, turmoils, sicknesses, pains, losses, everything, for every person, ever. The only thing required to get into Heaven is to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ. That being said, however, doesn't mean it won't be easy: those who are "not willing to enjoy that which they might have received" (D&C 88:32), or those who will end up in the telestial kingdom (see here about the kingdoms of glory), will have to suffer for a short time the atrocities that they committed during their life on Earth before the last resurrection. These are the unrepentant sinners. Joseph Fielding Smith, in regards to the telestial kingdom, said, "They have no part in the first resurrection and are not redeemed from the devil and his angels until the last resurrection, because of their wicked lives and their evil deeds. Nevertheless, even these are heirs of salvation, but before they are redeemed and enter into their kingdom, they must repent of their sins, and receive the gospel, and bow the knee, and acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer of the world" ["Teachings Concerning The Telestial Glory"].
Okay, so that was really long. But the point of that is, even those murderers and liars and adulterers will still have to truthfully learn for themselves and be willing to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ. And then that's it! There's Heaven. Awesome.
But their progression will be limited. "Progression? What??"
SURPRISE. Heaven will not be a place somewhere in the clouds where we all wear white robes for eternity and sing hymns in praise to God. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people will do that at least some of the time (Mormons love singing like dang), but what if you hate singing? Then what? And man, eternity is a freaking long time! Doing the same things and staying in the same place for literally forever sounds more like hell than anything. God knows this, and that's why that's not what Heaven will be. And even when we get to Heaven, that isn't the end goal.
We will be constantly learning, progressing, and practicing becoming like our Father, literally becoming gods (at least, those who achieve celestial glory). Do you understand how big a deal that is? That ability, that privilege, will not come easy. This time on earth is a lifelong learning experience, a chance for us to learn and grow as much as we can to prepare ourselves for even more progression in Heaven. Unlimited knowledge and power sounds pretty awesome, but think of all the people, and maybe even yourself, as someone who maybe hasn't accepted the Gospel, maybe someone who isn't living in a way that's super awesome, and how awful it would be to say here in mortal life, "screw it," and continue simply surviving and maybe even ignoring the fullness of the restored truths of the Gospel, and then when you get to that point in eternity when the judgments come and you are sent to a kingdom lower than that of the celestial, you realize your progression is limited. For eternity. You will eventually hit a point in your progression and it won't be able to grow or continue. That, to me, sounds like a form of hell, and I think many people won't realize that until too late. Even though they will have made it into a kingdom of Heaven, they won't be maximizing their divine potential.
Dang that tangent though... Back to the fun Conference guy! There are no things in life we "gotta" do. Nothing is forced upon us. We can, in actuality, do whatever the heck we want to do. There will be consequences for every action, but why worry about that? Just yolo it up, man!
But if we don't have to do all these things, why the heck do we do them? Because, in the words of the ultimate bro Brad Wilcox, "We aren't earning Heaven. We are learning Heaven." Preparation to literally become like God isn't a preparation that is easy. Much is required. But the more I learn about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and strengthen my relationship with God and utilize the power of the Atonement every day, the greater my desire is to reach my divine potential, a goal that cannot be reached without the knowledge of God and the knowledge of His Son's Atonement. All these things that Mormons do that make them seem like busy bees constantly running around aren't to check off a to-do list or a report card or simply appear Christian. It is to help us, we imperfect mortal beings, to 1.) give us opportunities to get outside ourselves and serve others, and 2.) help us stay focused on God's work and keep an eternal perspective. Progress isn't something that happens overnight, it is a lifelong pursuit! This life is not all there is, and I have seen countless examples of that fact, and in the fact that God lives and is very active in our lives.
So to Mr. Conference Protester, I hope you figure things out. I am sorry you felt so much pressure in your church service that you felt you had to leave and I hope you find happiness and true peace in your life. You don't "gotta" do anything, but our actions are rooted in our deepest desires, so I know if you are truly rooted to Christ you will be able to spread goodness throughout the world, whether it be with your Mormon brothers and sisters or not.
Holla back,
Ellie
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